//
cast your eyes over this
// trailers

// new trailer – John Carter

// And the award for ‘Crap Movie Title 2012’ goes to…

John Carter.

This looks terrible and yet a strange sensation has washed over me like a tsunami of stupidity, forcing my left and right hands to write words and post the trailer. It must be Willem Dafoe’s dulcet tones that caused me to throw caution to the wind. Watch and then join me on Twitter as I mock and berate it.

Apparently John Carter of Mars is inexplicably transported to the mysterious and exotic planet Mars, and becomes embroiled in a conflict of epic proportions… and… I just found something sticky underneath my chair. It isn’t chewing gum but has the same consistency. It remind me of the time I went to the seaside with my Dad. I was sat in the back with some candy floss and a can of coke. I opened the coke and it went everywhere. The result was a sugar-coated nightmare and some unappreciated glares from Orme Snr. We were finding this weird pink/brown gunk festering in the back of Dad’s red Triumph Stag for months. Anyways… That’s what I found underneath my chair. Where was I? Doesn’t seem important now.

Oh… Visit the official website at http://www.disney.co.uk/john-carter – If you fancy being sold to by the evil mouse.

Thanks for visiting. Lave a comment you swine!

Younamehere

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About Rob Orme

Brown is the new Black.

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