// Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I like hair. Especially mine. That was good enough reason for me to dedicate this week’s Top Five to the bestest cinematic barnet chops. Not only will this post be my tribute to strong hair cuts in the movies, but it will also be the most pun-tastic post EVER written by any movie blog, ever. You can quote me on that, but don’t ask me to defend it. Please note I’m doing hair cuts rather than hair styles, so unfortunately House Party won’t feature.
Doing my research for this post I found that the movies that really stuck in my mind when it came to a new hair style were generally when a leading lady simply shaves off her hair. The shaving of women’s heads in movies has always been an interesting one to interpret for the cinema goer. On the one hand some of the films where we see the female protagonist shaving her head is to defy; it is an act of rebellion. However, in asserting their rebellious nature they become intrinsically male and ultimately un-do any good work they had tried to do in asserting themselves as a powerful woman… or something like that. I could go into the theory of ‘The Male Gaze‘ here, but I shall refrain. On the other hand when a woman’s hair is cut by another, normally a man, it can be viewed as a pseudo-rape of that person. This will make more sense when you see number 4 on the list.
Anyways, enough of the theory bollocks. Let’s get into it. I’ve tried to mix things up a little, so in the words of the Joker…. “and. hair. we. go.“…
1. G.I Jane (1997)
Hair Dinkum! Demi Moore is a good looking lad… I mean… chick and even though I was only about 13 at the time of this movie being released, I can distinctly remember the press going bananas over her shaved head. In G.I.Jane Demi Moore plays LT Jordan O’Neill who becomes a test case for a female trainee in a Navy SEAL-style training qualification. No one expects her to succeed in an inhumanly punishing regime that has a standard 60% dropout rate for men. However, as you can imagine O’Neill is determined to prove them wrong. In order to fit in she naturally shaves her head. Unfortunately despite some interesting political and feminist underpinnings, the film was a bit of a wet badger and is one of the few Ridley Scott movies i haven’t felt the need to view again. Check it out in all it’s glory below.
2. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Hair He Comes! If you haven’t seen Edward Scissorhands might I suggest you do so immediately. One of the first Depp/Burton collaborations, the movie is about a brilliant inventor’s greatest creation – Edward. However, before he is able to complete Edward with real hands the inventor dies and Edward is left with metal scissors for hands. Gutted! Only when Peg, a visiting Avon lady discovers him, is Edward introduced into modern-day society. At first, everyone welcomes Edward into the community, but soon things begin to take a change for the worse. Edward also falls for Winona Ryder which would cause anyone problems even with hands. In Edward’s attempts to help out the neighbours, he starts to cut the hair of the women in the area. He starts making HEAD-lines as they appear to get some sort of weird sexual rush out of the process. It’s all very naughty, even if it is only a haircut.
Check out the clip here – A Thrilling Experience
3. Interview with the Vampire (1994)
Hair for the Hills! The thing about hair is that it tends to grow back. Bloody annoying really. It’s especially annoying when you cut your hair to spite your vampire master and for it to have grown back to it original length my the time you wake up the next evening. That’s exactly what happens to the very young Claudia (Kirsten Dunst) in Interview with the Vampire. The plot of the movie jumps around like Arnie and his past bed hoping antics (topical), spanning numerous decades, but the time Louis (Brad Pitt) spends with Claudia are some of the most poignant moments. If you’re a newcomer to the genre, you can’t really go wrong starting here.
Check out the clip here – Forever Young
4. Martyrs (2008)
Hair’s Looking At You! Brutal, would be the best way to describe Martyrs. 15 years after a horrifying experience of abduction and prolonged torture, Lucie embarks on a bloody quest for revenge against her oppressors. Along with her chum, Anna, who also suffered abuse, she quickly descends into madness and her own delusions. Anna, left on her own begins to re-experience what Lucie did when she was only twelve years old. I was introduced to the movie by my friend Fish. My only wish is that I can un–watch something. Use this if you want to build yourself up to watch A Serbian Film (2010). The haircut scene is pretty traumatic and pales in comparison to some of the other moments in the movie. That’s largely why it’s in the top five.
Check out the clip here – Hair Trade
5. V for Vendetta (2006)
Hairway to Heaven! Don’t worry too much about the movie because it’s not amazing. The Wachowski brothers’ rather tepid follow-up to the Matrix trilogy just didn’t do what the had set out to do. The notions of “V” using terrorist tactics to fight against his totalitarian society didn’t really work and their trade mark bullet time didn’t really feel cutting edge any more. Shame really. Especially when you consider what Natalie Portman sacrificed for the role. Much like Demi Moore, she allows herself to be sans hair for the role. Again it’s the shock value that gives this movie a memorable hair-raising moment, but beyond that… my old mate John Hurt is in it.
Check out the clip here – Process Her
That’s your lot. What did you think? Any cuts I missed? Any puns I missed? Any male haircuts you can think of that are worthy of mention? Let me know.
Browntails has been known to cause “opportunistic” hikes in mining royalty rates
thanks for reading
Sources: Numerous, but haironfilm.net was amazeballs. Who knew there was a whole website dedicated to haircuts in movies!?
I dedicate this post to Mrs Fitch. Not only does he have a head shaped like a pineapple, he is also the art director of my hair and takes full responsibility for the ‘Soho Shark Fin’ hairstyle I currently rock.